I found the below article on ways to grow and become comfortable with change. Be comfortable being uncomfortable. Don’t just be content surviving; learn to thrive and create the life you want.
The Fantastic Life Rule #6: Stay Out of the Matrix
This rule reminds you to be grounded in reality. Not the reality that you see others creating, but the reality of life and that you have the freedom to take action and be different. Don’t get trapped by the things that seem inescapable. Break out and see how much you can really do.
5 Keys to Thrive and Create the Life You Desire
Anthony Robbins 2013
It’s no surprise that so many people today are in a state of uncertainty. We’re going through massive changes in the economy, the world, and life in general, and many of them are unprecedented. Yet, we know that with all of this change, there’s opportunity. There’s a chance here for our lives to be better than they’ve ever been.
All too often, we get overwhelmed and things feel out of control, and we go through our day-to-day lives with a great deal of foreboding and uncertainty. We start to become managers of our lives, doing our best to get through the day and survive.
The thing is, we’re not made to merely survive—we’re made to thrive. We all have a calling inside of us, whether it’s as a parent, as a friend, or just as someone who truly cares. This calling allows us to put our fears aside because it’s for something greater than us.
We all have the ability to find that passion in our life. We are not meant to just manage our pain or get through the day. We’re meant to be the creators of our lives.
Are there things in your life today that were once just a dream or a goal—maybe your relationship, your job, or the family you’ve grown? Something that you wanted so badly that you just took action, even though you didn’t know how you were going to do it. You have these things in your life today. You committed to your goals and made them happen. The truth is that we are creators, working to transform what might seem like impossible dreams into reality.
What does it take to start thriving in your life? To get back to being the creator of your life?
On the following pages are five ways you can do that for yourself.
Anything we can dream about, we can create.
1 – Turn Uncertainty into Action
Uncertainty often gets in the way of taking that first step toward our goals. The thing that stops us all is fear—fear of rejection, fear of not looking good, fear of the unknown, etc.
In order to make consistent progress, we need to allow ourselves to feel that fear and uncertainty, and take action anyway.
When you look at someone who is incredibly successful in their career and a leader in their field, the one thing they have in common is that they exude a sense of certainty. Great leaders know how to bring certainty to a situation.
Where does this certainty come from? Were they born with it?
Are they lucky? Are things just going their way?
Regardless of your background or experience, you can change your state of mind and get to a place of certainty simply by changing your physiology. Imagine if one day you decided to move at a slower place, to stoop a little, drop your shoulders, and speak slowly with little enthusiasm. Imagine what that would do to your mindset!
What we often don’t realize is that our mind is directly affected by how we use our body. If you change the tempo of your movement, change your breathing, and change the way you use your voice, you are literally changing your biochemistry.
One of the most powerful strategies for creating a strong sense of certainty is to create rituals of certainty that change your mindset and get your mind and body to a place of action. You can do all kinds of things like going for a run and saying incantations* as you do this. You can envision what creates certainty and power what it is you want in your life. You can see—in advance—whatever it is you want in your life. You can associate to the wealth of love, friendship, impact, growth, and aliveness that you are blessed with in this life. You can envision oceans of abundance flowing into your life in every area.
When you repeat a phrase with enough emotional intensity often enough, you start to believe it. This is the power of incantations.
• Everyday and in every way, I’m getting stronger and stronger.
• At last, at last, the past is past; I’ve broken free and won. And now it’s time to love myself and really have some fun.
• All I need is within me now.
• I love my life and I am so blessed.
• I’m so happy, and I can’t stop smiling.
• Day by day I live my life with happiness and harmony. I share my gifts, my dreams, my heart and love has set me free.
Your Hour of Power:
3 steps to create a daily ritual for sustainable success
STEP 1: Move and Breathe (5 minutes)
Keep your shoes beside the bed and hit the ground running! Get up each day and physically move, going outside your house and starting with a walk to warm up your body and wake up your metabolism.
For the first five minutes of your walk, practice the pattern of “breathwalking.”
Inhale four times through your nose, exhale four times through your mouth, and repeat continuously.
STEP 2: Get Grateful and Visualize (5-10 minutes)
Think about everything you’re grateful for. Start with yourself and include your family, friends, business associates, and special moments in your life.
Visualize everything you want in your life as if you had already achieved it and you were grateful for it. Your brain can’t tell the difference between something you vividly imagine and something you actually experience; whatever you focus on, you’ll move toward.
Focus on what you want to create today. What do you want to make happen? What do you want to do, achieve, or accomplish? See it happening the way you want it.
Do your incantations out loud. Speaking engages your physiology and conditions the ideas into your mind.
STEP 3: Exercise (5-10 minutes, 30 minutes or more!)
Exercise, then celebrate!
Here’s a ritual you can try on to not only create more certainty, but to condition yourself to take positive action: Your Hour of Power or 15 Minutes to Fulfillment.
Take as much time as you can spare—10 or 15 minutes a day, an hour three times a week, whatever works for you—and engage your body in a simple ritual as you focus on what you’re excited about in your life, what you want to create, and what you want to bring to the world. Get yourself moving, and concentrate on having certainty in the way you move and the way you breathe. Make this your ritual, and I guarantee you will feel a change in your state of mind. When you feel different, you’ll take different actions and produce different results.
2 – Focus on Your Vision
Do you tend to control the events in your life, or are events controlling you? The amount of stress you feel is directly related to how in control you feel about your life.
It’s easy to let other things take control of us—unless we take control of our own minds. What we choose to focus on has a massive effect on how we feel. If you focus on the things you can’t control—maybe it’s the past, or what’s missing from your life—you feel stressed, overwhelmed, and depressed. Even if you’re taking antidepressants, you’re still going to feel depressed if you’re focusing on the things in your life that are out of your control!
Leaders focus on what they can control, what they have, and what they want. Once you change your focus in this way, you will become a creator again, instead of just a manager of your life.
It’s easy to lose that vision as you experience disappointments along the way. We’ve all been there—life seems to crush something that you were excited about, or someone betrays you, or you betray yourself.
To create a life where you’re thriving, not just surviving, you must focus on creating a compelling future. Pick anything—a goal, dream, or desire—that you want so much, you’re going to find yourself compelled to make it happen. The great thing is that, if you think about it, you’ve actually already done this before. Whether or not you’ve been keeping track of it along the way, there are things that you’ve wanted and have gotten for yourself. You are responsible for everything that you have in your life today.
If you want to thrive, you have to focus on the things you can control, the difference you can make, and the things that are already in your life that you’re grateful for.
Focus = Power
Focus on where you want to go, not on what you fear.
3 – Be Decisive
Nothing changes your life like real decision.
When you make a decision and every bit of you is committed to it, it’s amazing what mountains you can move. When you commit to a decision—I mean really commit to it—you are essentially saying to the world, “This is how it will be.” If you find something that you are passionate and excited about and add decisiveness, you can make anything happen.
Decisiveness is the ability to make a decision even when you’re uncertain. If it’s the wrong decision, you’ll quickly figure it out and be able to correct course. If you don’t make a decision, however, there is only one certain outcome: nothing will get better.
Indecision becomes decision with time. The only way to improve your life, to move toward what it is you really want most and to feel the incredible sense of certainty that comes from knowing you’re making progress, is to harness the power of decision. It’s a muscle and like any other muscle, it must be used consistently to grow.
Leadership is about making decisions. If you’re going to be the leader of your own life, you’re going to need to make decisions. Whether those decisions are right or wrong, you’re going to find out a lot quicker than if you sit around and do nothing.
One of the Greatest Leaders and Decision-Makers of Our Time: General Norman Schwarzkopf
As a young man, Schwarzkopf worked as an assistant to a general. At one point, the general was involved in a research project that the Pentagon was working on. For five years, no decisions had been made on how to implement the project. There were two options available, but no one had been able to choose between them.
After an hour-long meeting about the project, the general simply stood up, pointed at one of the options, and said, “That one!” After just one hour, he was able to make the decision that no one had been able to make up until then.
Later, Schwarzkopf asked the general how he had made that decision in only an hour, when everyone else involved in the project was so uncertain and there were reams and reams of research that he hadn’t seen. The general told Schwarzkopf that, truthfully, no one knew what the right decision was, but he knew that action needed to be taken. “The option I chose will be right,” he said, “because we’ll put all of our resources into it and make it right. Or, if it turns out to be wrong, we’ll discover that quickly and do what needs to be done to go in the right direction.”
4 – Commit to Change
Don’t like your body? Your relationship? Your job?
We all get caught up in our own self-doubt. However, if you get in your head, you’re dead. The brain is a great tool to strategize with, but there’s a point where you have to use your heart, put yourself on the line, and do something. Instead of thinking too much, commit to a decision, act on it, and move yourself forward.
What’s one small decision you could make right now that would take you in the direction you need to go? What’s a big decision that might be really tough, but if you made it, it would take you in a new direction in your life?
A lot of people tend to make “sorta kinda” decisions. Here’s the secret behind why people don’t follow through: The reason people don’t commit to a decision is that they don’t act on it.
You may have thought that it’s the other way around, that you have to commit to a decision
before you act on it. But the only way to prove to yourself that you’re completely committed to a decision and are going to follow through is if you push yourself to take the first step—the hardest step to take.
If you don’t act, your dreams will die in your mind. When you make a decision, commit yourself to it by taking the first step toward it right then and there.
Otherwise, you’ll go home, get caught up in the 87 other things you need to do, and you won’t make any headway. Take some form of action that will move you in the direction you want to go.
Find someone who has achieved the results that you want—they lost 30 pounds, or they have their dream career, or they’re just truly happy with their life. Finding someone who inspires you in this way is called modeling, and it’s a great way to determine the steps you need to take to reach your goal. Find out what steps this person took to get where they are today. What decision did they commit to and act on that pushed them forward and made them take that first step into the future they wanted?
Daily action ignites the momentum that creates lasting change.
5 – Give Back
The key to thriving in your life is to remember that the secret to living is giving. It’s about finding some way to give love, attention, care, joy, or happiness to another human being.
This doesn’t necessarily mean volunteering or working in a soup kitchen (although those are both great ways to give back). It’s about the choices you make in your day-to-day life. It’s about putting down your iPhone and talking with your kids, or kissing your spouse with the same fire you had when you first started dating, or connecting with the people you encounter during your day, even if it’s just a quick smile or a hello.
Most of us are moving so fast and trying to manage our lives, and as a result we aren’t thriving. We’re here for more than just ourselves, and the truth is that we feel the most alive when we’re giving back.
Whether you’re helping a stranger or someone you love, help comes from a place of abundance, not scarcity. The most important time to help others is when you think you need it. The next time you’re feeling down, find someone who is much worse off than you and see what you can do to help them. Trust me, it will change your spirit, your psychology, and your state of mind. You’ll find yourself thriving when you step into a life of meaning that goes beyond just you.
The next time you’re feeling uncertain, remind yourself that you’re the creator of your life, not a manager of circumstances. Put yourself in a place of giving, certainty, purpose, and decisiveness, and nail down your vision for what you want. Change your mindset so you’re appreciating what you have in your life now. Acknowledge that everything you have today is the result of you committing to a decision and making it happen.
Our lives are a reflection of rituals. Take a look at the rituals you do that aren’t working, and focus on some new ones that will work. Instead of thinking about what’s out of your control, think about what you can do right now that is in your control, and put your own rescue into effect, instead of waiting for someone else to do it.
When you follow these five steps, you’ll put yourself in a position to thrive regardless of what’s going on around you, and you’ll create a life that’s truly extraordinary.
It’s in the moments of decision that your destiny is shaped.