I have written a bunch on developing habits. I have tons of habits…..most good and a few not so good. Today, let’s take a quick look at getting rid of some of our “not so good” habits.
While the standard reply is to replace the bad habit with a good habit (read Atomic Habits or Tiny Habits for more on this one topic), today I want to look at why we have some bad habits. If we can get rid of bad ones, then we make room to develop new good habits.
– Get rid of the small routines that are currently sabotaging you. Here are two good ones: deleting an app on your phone that is wasting your time or clearing your house of any food you should not eat.
– Celebrate the things you accomplish. BJ Fogg calls it “shine.” Give yourself shine. I started doing this recently and it works. The key? Say it out loud. Do not try to give yourself shine without it being spoken.
– Be skeptical about anything you read, hear, or watch. Boy, is this a hot topic. Who can believe anything anymore? Stop watching/reading “the bad” news on repeat. Go live your life!
– Whenever you feel like life is unfair, ask yourself: What is this trying to teach me? Learn from every lesson. One of my key learnings from the last 5 years is that life is good and bad and everything in between. Live it all.
Here is a great quote from my Untethered Soul calendar: “As long as you are defining what you like and what you don’t like, you will open and close. You are actually defining your limits. Dare to be different. Enjoy all of life.”
This is worth repeating: Enjoy all of life.
The Fantastic Life Rule #12:
Do Nothing in Moderation
So many people are stuck living a mediocre or moderate life. But life is meant to be Fantastic. Stop living in moderate and embrace every aspect of your life, good and bad.
6 Ways To Change Your Life in 6 Months (or Less)
By: Hemanth | Published on November 25, 2021
Photo by George Milton from PexelsLet me make a guess about you…
Let me make a guess about you…
You want changes. And you want them to happen quickly.
You might want to lose weight, earn more money, have better relationships, or just feel better overall.
You know you can have all these things — and you’ve tried to achieve them more than just once, but you always ended up exactly where you started.
All those good-sounding diets ended up leaving you starving, the gurus promising that you’ll become a millionaire in the next 30 days didn’t deliver on their promises, and you’re starting to lose hope, wondering if there’s a way out of your current reality.
The good news is there is a way out.
The bad news is, it might not be as easy as the skinny lady on the ad for the next revolutionary diet made it sound like.
Most significant changes in our lives don’t happen overnight.
They happen through small but consistent action.
Radical changes might sound sexier, but the truth is that baby steps will take you a lot further in the long run.
Get rid of the shit.
When we want to change our lives, we mostly start by adding new things to our daily routines.
We believe waking up at 5 am will magically help us build a successful business.
Or we start doing that amazing 15-minute HIIT workout that promises to help us achieve our dream body in just a few days.
And most of the time, we fail because we can’t stick to those new, magical routines for too long.
The good news is that it’s normal. If you ever started to build a new habit and failed, you’re not alone.
We’re creatures of habit, and whenever we want to make radical changes in our daily lives, the odds are high that our good intentions will backfire due to missing willpower.
So instead of trying to build new habits, try to get rid of the ones that are holding you back.
If you want to take it a step further, replace them with positive habits.
Stop taking your phone to the bedroom and instead read a few pages of a book each night.
Stop checking your emails after 5 pm and end your workdays with a short meditation to help you release the tension of the day.
Stop snacking on unhealthy foods and drink a glass of water every time you’re tempted to grab a piece of chocolate.
…
You get the point: Instead of adding more and more daily tasks to our to-do lists and overwhelming ourselves, we want to make use of the routines that are already present in our lives.
By eliminating the small habits that are holding you back, you’ll have more time and energy for the right things anyway.
Do one good thing for yourself each week.
Let me make another guess about you: You’re busy.
Most of the time, you’re so busy at your job and at home that you feel like you have no time for yourself.
You’re trying to please a dozen people, but you fail to please yourself.
Well, that needs to stop.
For the next six months, do at least one thing for yourself each week.
Get a massage, watch your favorite movie, enjoy a cup of coffee in silence — do something just for you without worrying about other people’s expectations or approval.
This doesn’t necessarily need to be costly or time-consuming. It’s about making sure you take some time for yourself. Ditch your all-or-nothing mentality and do whatever you can — whether that’s a 5-minute break in silence or a weekend getaway to your favorite place.
The only person who’ll be around you forever is you, so it’s just fair to make sure you’re feeling well.
As Katie Reed once said, self-care is about giving the world the best of you instead of what’s left of you.
If you’re not feeling well, you won’t be able to make others feel well anyway, so make sure to take care of yourself first.
Don’t go to bed without doing this.
Did you ever spend an entire day working your butt off and crossing things off your to-do list and still feel like you didn’t accomplish anything?
Yeah, me too.
When we’re busy chasing big dreams, we sometimes fail to see how far we’ve already come.
And when we look at our endless to-do lists, we ignore the items we already crossed off and instead focus on the tasks that are still staring back at us.
That’s why you should consciously celebrate your wins, no matter how small they are.
At the end of each day, take a minute and write down what you’re proud of.
It might be a to-do you got done, a tough situation you handled well, or the fact that you took some time to enjoy yourself.
If you’re using a digital task management tool, make sure to keep your weekly and monthly goals in a non-digital format as well.
That way, you can look back at your weeks and months and see how much you’re actually accomplishing throughout a year.
I use a simple daily journal that helps me document:
· My 3-month goals
· My weekly goals
· And my daily wins
Sticking to small promises is way easier than making radical changes, so focus on the wins you can create each day and be proud of every step that moves you towards your desired destination.
By celebrating your small wins, you’ll gain confidence and energy, which helps you get more done while also feeling better, so it’s a win-win situation.
Question everything
For the next six months, question everything and don’t take anything for granted.
Whenever you come across a piece of advice (like this one), ask yourself whether it makes sense for you, your goals, and your unique situation in life.
There’s no ultimate rule book on how to live life, and most pieces of advice aren’t universally applicable.
My most useful productivity strategy might not work for you because you might have different strengths, expectations, and problems.
A diet that helped me lose weight with ease might make you feel miserable and hungry all the time because it doesn’t fit your body’s needs.
As a self-improvement writer, I make money by sharing tips on living a better life, but I encourage you to question everything you read, hear, and see.
Nobody’s walking through life in your shoes, so you always need to make sure the ideas you come across are a fit for your current season of life.
Just because someone achieved “success” doesn’t mean their strategies will also work for you.
Open your mind to be more critical about anything you consume, and be more intentional about the advice and opinions you take to heart.
Dig deep through these 3 questions
Accepting that you want to change your life is tough, but what’s even more challenging is working your way through the emotions that have been holding you back from living a fulfilled life.
In an interview with Lewis Howes, motivational speaker Lisa Nichols shared the “I see you exercise”: Every day, you want to stand in front of the mirror, call your name and complete the following sentences:
· [Your name], I’m proud that you…
Use this sentence to list seven different things you’re genuinely proud of and celebrate yourself.
· [Your name], I forgive you for…
Remember those mistakes you made years or even decades ago that are still keeping you awake at night?
This sentence is all about letting go of those negative emotions associated with blame, shame, guilt, regret, and anger.
· [Your name], I commit to you that…
Last but not least, you want to add a commitment that you make to yourself before making any commitments to anyone else.
Nichols adds that you won’t see a magical change just because you do this exercise once. But over time, being honest with yourself will help you feel relieved.
Do this whenever you feel like life is unfair
Next time you face a situation that feels a little unfair, challenging, or uncomfortable, ask yourself the following: What is this here to teach me?
As Oprah writes in What I Know For Sure, all our hurdles have meaning.
And the easiest way to find out what exactly that meaning could be is by pausing for a moment and asking yourself what you could learn from the challenge you’re facing.
You might not be able to find the answer right away, but if you walk through life asking yourself, what is this here to teach me?, you’ll eventually find answers.
In the end, we all need to face our own battles, but those hard times become a lot easier when we’re open and reflective instead of stubborn.
Final thoughts
Most of the time, life isn’t easy, but it can be rich — Rich in experiences, love, memories, and lessons.
But at the same time, it’s rich in failures, mistakes, disappointments, and challenges.
The gist is to focus on the bright side and slowly become the person you’re meant to be.
Your life is probably never going to be easier than right now. You’re just going to become a lot stronger and able to fight bigger battles.
For the next six months, follow these six steps to become more resilient, calm, and centered:
· Instead of building new habits, get rid of the small routines that are currently sabotaging you. If possible, replace them with positive ones.
· Each week, get rid of the small routines that are currently sabotaging you.
· Take time to celebrate the things you accomplish every single day.
· Be skeptical about anything you read, hear, or watch and ask yourself whether a piece of advice is really useful for your unique season in life.
· Use Lisa Nichols’ three questions to let go of your past and create abundance in your life.
· And whenever you feel like life is unfair, ask yourself: What is this here to teach me?