We all know, success isn’t just about what you know—it’s about who you know. AND in my opinion, more importantly, who knows you. The best networkers don’t just collect business cards; they create real connections by bringing the right people together. I’ve built my career by being a connector, and I can tell you I get paid back in ways you’d never expect. {Click to Tweet} My takeaways on connecting and the WSJ article below go deeper on this superpower:
Give Before You Ask: The best way to build a powerful network? Help people first. The key is to give without expecting anything in return, and trust that the right opportunities will come back to you.
Make Every Introduction Count: A lazy intro—just tossing two names in an email—is a wasted opportunity. The best connectors make introductions with purpose, explaining why the two people should meet and how they can help each other.
Your Network Should Be Your Advantage: Your network won’t grow if you only reach out when you need something. Stay engaged, check in, and care about the people in your circle. I speak at events, make intros, and keep my connections strong—because the more you invest in your network, the more it will work for you.
The best opportunities come from the people you know—if you’re willing to put in the effort to build real relationships. Be the one who connects, helps, and brings people together. Do this consistently for a long time, and your network will open doors you never even knew existed.
| P.S. – I just did a podcast on the Unspoken Truth about networking with my son Charlie. You can check it out here! |
The Fantastic Life Rule #3:
Build Your Resumes Every Year
When you treat relationships and networking as a resume, you start to understand how important it is to continuously update them. Grabbing coffee, checking in, sending the text, these are the small things that add up to strong relationships.
The Generosity Power Move That Can Boost Your Career
To get ahead, learn how to be a connector
By Rachel Feintzeig
Oct. 20, 2024 9:00 pm ET
Connectors always know just who you should talk to. They send the perfect introductory emails: warm, crisp, direct. And they make it look so effortless.“It’s almost like music or something,” says David Dewane, a Chicago architect who loves introducing contacts from all parts of his life. “If you do it right, what you get is a little flash of possibility for both people.”
And possibility for the connector, too. Call it karma, the power of networks, or even just luck. If you become that hub for your friends and colleagues, it will come back to you, enriching your circles.
I think of people I know in my own life, the ones I speed text when I need a doctor for my kid. I feel so grateful, like they’re these life buoys that help keep me afloat. I wonder: Can the rest of us do that?
“We all develop a point at which the network that we’re in can’t satisfy our needs anymore,” says Brian Uzzi, a professor at Northwestern’s Kellogg School of Management who studies social network science.
When we become brokers, dipping in and out of various groups, we have access to all kinds of new information: little tips, fresh opportunities. Synthesizing multiple viewpoints, we’re better able to solve problems in innovative ways, Uzzi says. People love us for it.
Getting ahead
Connectors are more likely to get promoted and win bigger bonuses, Uzzi says. In one study of M.B.A. students, those who acted as brokers between cliques were twice as likely to get the best job offers upon graduating, he adds.
The key is to give before you ask.
Greg Pryor’s pay-it-forward approach has led to surprise opportunities. Photo: WORKDAY“The idea of reciprocity is very powerful,” says Greg Pryor, a longtime human-resources executive who now researches organizational psychology topics.
Need a favor while you’re building a relationship, and you’re automatically in debt, he says. Instead, his career has been guided by a pay-it-forward mentality. He ends most calls by asking, “Is there anything I can do to help you?”
One time, a colleague asked if Pryor could get an acquaintance of hers up to speed on the topic of corporate culture and values. He spent a day with the friend-of-a-friend and connected her to others in the industry he thought could help.
The woman ended up becoming the chief human resources officer at software company Workday. When Pryor was looking for his next job, he reached out to her. A few weeks later, he was the new head of talent at Workday.
He spent a decade there, the best stretch of his career, he says.
The email formula
There’s an art to crafting the perfect email intro. Dewane, the Chicago architect who’s orchestrated thousands of introductions, is constantly scanning his mental Rolodex for pairs of contacts who can solve each other’s problems. He usually gets preapproval to reach out from both parties, then turns to his formula.
David Dewane says connecting people is a joy, and an obsession. Photo: David Dewane
There’s two paragraphs—one for each person. He describes what they do, why he thought of them, and how they’re perfect to connect on this particular thing. He includes hyperlinks to both LinkedIn profiles. And he always puts the person who stands to gain more from the interaction last, queuing them up to initiate contact.
“I get kind of paranoid if intros just hang there,” he says.
If there’s a big difference in power between the two people, he choreographs the thread even more intricately. When connecting architecture students with professionals he knows at design studios, he’ll inform the students that he’s sending the email at 8 a.m. They are to reply by 8:04 a.m.
“I am going to open the door and then you are going to walk through it,” he says.
Oftentimes people freeze as they sit down to pen an email, scared of overpromising, says Erica Dhawan, a St. Petersburg, Fla.-based leadership consultant and author of a book about digital communication. Sliding into someone’s inbox involves risk. You’re encroaching on their time and looping yourself to two disparate contacts who may or may not hit it off.
Dhawan recommends using the phrase, “no guilt, no obligation,” when asking people if they’re open to connecting.
“I want them to feel like there’s mutual benefit,” she says, not like they’re doing her a favor.
Worst intro ever
Being on the receiving end of an introduction can also leave your stomach in knots, if it’s not done right.
An introduction brought Khaled Bashir a friend, and a business deal. Photo: Wesley Hilario
“I’m in an email thread and I’m like, I don’t know why I’m here,” says Khaled Bashir, the founder of a marketing agency and AI startup in Toronto. “What am I supposed to do?”
Fellow founders will often connect him with potential clients. At least he thinks that’s what they are. The context is sometimes missing, and he’d appreciate a funny icebreaker so he can slide into the conversation without it having to be all business.
Bad intros can have happy endings, though.
Years back, Bashir was thrown into a random WhatsApp group by a client. No explanation, just him and one other guy. It turned out the other person was a fellow agency owner. The pair became fast friends. They bonded over the synergies in their work and a love of Japanese comics. Now, Bashir is selling the marketing part of his business to the friend, a move that will let him focus on growing his AI offerings.
Bon appétit
Michael Magdelinskas orchestrates connections at dinner parties. Photo: Michael Magdelinskas
To make connections less awkward, add food. Michael Magdelinskas, who works in government affairs for a consulting firm, hosts frequent dinner parties at his Manhattan apartment. Over sous-vide pork chops and cognac ice cream, he brings together everyone from former colleagues to acquaintances visiting from overseas.
He crafts guest lists by thinking about common hobbies, hometowns and the ratio of introverts to extroverts. Recently, a group of attendees formed their own Instagram chat thread, bonding over an inside joke. They didn’t even think to include Magdelinskas.
“That’s a good thing,” he says. “That means the process is working.”