The below article is another way of looking at how we survive and how we can change. Using our prehistoric past, author Laurie Marbas introduces us to Flint, our caveman brain.
Change is hard…it’s supposed to be. Flint is wired for survival. Anything new is scary and not good for survival. Fortunately, we have another side of our brain that gives us hope and allows us to change/grow.
Here are a few simple steps:
1— Talk to Flint. Assure yourself this change is good and will help you live longer and happier.
2— Make the change stress free. Small micro changes work. Slow change is good. Simply get up and go outside if you are trying to work out in the morning until you have it down.
3—Consistency is critical. Each time you do something, you are telling Flint that this is the new routine. This is the path.
Read more below.
Keep growing.
The Fantastic Life Rule #7:
Stay Out of the Gap
The fear of change often keeps us stuck in the gap between where we are now and where we want to be. Taking small steps might feel insignificant, but often it’s the only want to bridge the distance.
Meet Flint: The Caveperson in Your Head Who Hates Change
Why You Keep Resisting the Very Things That Would Help You Thrive
Laurie Marbas, MD, MBA
Jul 18, 2025
You live in your own body.
You think your own thoughts.
You want to change.
So why does it feel like you’re fighting a ghost version of yourself every time you try?
You say you’ll go for a walk.
Next thing you know, you’re horizontal with snacks, scrolling someone else’s walk.
You say you’ll stop yelling at your kids.
Then the toothpaste is in the wrong place and you’re suddenly possessed by a demon named “WHY IS THIS SO HARD?!”
You know better. You want better.
So what’s wrong with you?
Nothing.
You don’t need fixing.
You’re just wired for something else.
Let me show you.
Meet Your Inner Caveperson (and Their Favorite Word: No)
Imagine your brain as a cautious cave-dweller.
They survived saber-toothed tigers, bitter winters, and that one cousin who couldn’t stop poking bears.
Let’s call them Flint.
Flint has one job: don’t die.
That means anything new is dangerous.
New food? Could be poisonous.
New people? Might banish you.
New habits like “waking up early to meditate”? Definitely suspicious.
Flint learned the hard way: familiar = safe.
So now, thousands of years later, you try to journal before bed or drink more water, and Flint (still squatting in your nervous system) whispers:
“We’ve never done this before. We’re all gonna die.”
Your higher self wants transformation.
Flint wants chips and Netflix.
Guess who usually wins?
Your Biology Was Built for the Ice Age, Not Inbox Zero
Let’s get scientific for a second.
Your brain’s main goal isn’t happiness.
It’s efficiency.
It automates behavior to save energy, because back then, calories were scarce and danger was everywhere.
So now:
- You brush your teeth the same way every day.
- You check your phone like it’s your full-time job.
- You eat the same three meals unless you’re feeling “wild.”
These routines live in your basal ganglia, the part of the brain responsible for habit loops. Once something’s repeated enough, it’s filed into autopilot, and that’s how your brain saves fuel.
Smart for survival.
Frustrating for change.
Because that’s also why you:
- Reach for snacks when you’re tired.
- Open Instagram when you’re anxious.
- Date people who feel “familiar” (even if familiar means emotionally unavailable).
It’s not sabotage.
It’s structure.
Thriving Requires Going Off Script
Here’s the catch.
Growth is unfamiliar.
And unfamiliar = dangerous to Flint.
So when you say:
“I’m going to start waking up early, walking every day, reading spiritual books, and eating more fiber…”
Flint says:
“Or, and hear me out, we could survive another day exactly as we are.”
That’s why motivation fades.
Why your self-help books collect dust.
Why resistance feels like a ten-season Netflix series you binge without meaning to.
You weren’t built to thrive.
You were built to repeat.
But here’s the twist:
You’re not just Flint.
You Were Also Given a Compass
Flint is real.
But so is the part of you that knows.
The part that aches for meaning.
That whispers, “Try again tomorrow,” even after a spectacular meltdown.
That feels a tightness in your chest when you’ve been ignoring yourself for too long.
That’s your compass.
Unlike Flint, your compass isn’t looking for safety.
It’s searching for truth. Growth. Joy. Alignment.
It’s quiet, but persistent.
It notices what feels off, even when you can’t explain it.
And here’s the best part:
Flint might be loud.
But your compass is in charge, if you give it the mic.
How to Work With Your Wiring (Without Getting Trapped in the Cave)
1. Expect Resistance. Celebrate It.
Resistance isn’t failure.
It’s proof you’re on the edge of something real.
When it shows up, try this:
“Oh hello, Flint. Thanks for trying to keep me safe. I’ve got this now.”
Yes, talk to your caveperson. Humor disarms shame.
2. Make Change So Small It’s Not Scary
Flint hates big moves.
But micro-steps? They sneak under the radar.
Want a morning routine? Just put your journal on the pillow.
Want to walk daily? Step outside. Breathe. That’s it.
You’re not impressing your ego. You’re building trust.
3. Pair Habits With Immediate Rewards
Flint doesn’t care about long-term benefits.
It needs to feel good now.
So:
- Light a candle when you meditate.
- Put on music while you meal prep.
- Use stickers to track progress. (Seriously, adults love stickers, well at least I do. Don’t judge.)
4. Surround Yourself With Compass-Driven People
Behavior is contagious.
Flint thrives in isolation. Your compass thrives in community.
Find people who normalize change.
Stick close. Let their nervous systems teach yours that it’s safe to evolve.
5. Repeat Until You Become the Evidence
Every time you override fear with awareness, you prove:
“It’s safe to change. I can be trusted with freedom.”
Do this enough and it becomes your new normal, not by force, but through practice.
This is how thriving becomes natural.
Not because Flint disappears
But because you stop mistaking its voice for truth.
You Were Brilliantly Built.
You were designed to survive.
That’s why change feels scary.
Why sabotage feels familiar.
Why growth can feel like grief.
But you were also given something extraordinary:
- A mind that can witness itself.
- A soul that longs for more.
- A compass that keeps pointing forward—even when Flint is screaming “TURN BACK!”
You’re not failing.
You’re learning to rewire a masterpiece.
You’re not behind.
You’re just one healing habit away from learning how to thrive.
And we’re doing it together.
Let’s keep going.
What’s one thing Flint tries to stop you from doing?
Leave a comment—I read every one.